You see, love is funny. It really is, It makes you hurt, makes you happy, makes you cry, makes you laugh, makes you weak, and makes you strong, it helps you gain self confidence and kills it at the same time. So if love is so wonderful then how come people are breaking up every day, how come there are two little words called broken hearted? But if love was so bad, how come people are getting married everyday, saying those three little words I love you?

            When I was young boy had cooties. I remember back in like second grade there was this little African American boy who had this huge crush on me, he would say that he was Romeo and I was Juliet.  That scared me, it even made me a little sick, I didnt like boys and I never understood love and thought that it was never going to happen to me! Boy was I wrong! Then when I was about 13-16 years old, I wanted a boyfriend, everyone in my age group was getting BFs and GFs and I was feeling singled out! I became so desperate I would date a monster just to say a I had a boyfriend! I just wanted to feel the feeling of having someone> I looked so hard, that I actually looked passed the guys who wanted to date me and headed for the popular guys who hurt me bad!

The first time I thought I was in love was in Tenth grade, there was this new boy. An eleventh grader, very popular, but also very cute and I was going to let him know that! Keep in mind I was pretty shy back in Elementary, Middle school, and the early part of High School, so I actually got the nerve to tell him how I felt and he played with my head (and my heart) and hurt me bad! I remember my mom saying youre upset now, but how do you think its going to feel when you date someone for six months and then he dumps youand you think this is bad she was right! But back then I thought that nothing was more painful (except period cramps :{) 

The first time I fell in love was really unexpected. It was the summer of my senior year; I was happy I was becoming a senior and I was going to graduate and get outta this dump! And falling in love wasnt on my mind. But I did decided to meet this guy Spencer off the internet, I wasnt EXPECTING A THING, but when I saw him I was like ok hes cute  I mean I seen it the moment I looked in his eyes, I felt it the moment we touched, I tasted it the moment we kissed. I was in this spot I thought I would never be in. I was just amazing, I cant even explain it!  You just know its love, its like your heart tells you.  You always want to see the person no matter what, and we lived 3 hours apart we seen each other on the weekends, It was hard, but I was so deeply in love I wanted nothing more! Our families got along great, I loved his mom and dad, they were like my second parents and it was the same with him and my parents, my mom still tells me to this day that hes marriage material, that he would make a good son-in-law! I remember our second date (which were weekends, so our second weekend together) I bought him a rose and made him a tape of this song called Something like you by NSync. He loved it! Then sadly four months later we ended our perfect relationship!  Due to distance! It was the worst thing I have ever felt in my life! Ever! It was like falling in love, except the happiness was sadness and everything falls apart instead of coming together, youre expecting nothing when you should be expecting something. Also like love, it was a feeling I never felt, a feeling of unbearable pain. One minute we were together planning our future, next we both we starring down at a road we are never going to get to take and feeling sorry for myself, I cried day in and day out! I barley went to school, I would just sit there and stare at a blank computer screen, until my teacher came over and told me it was all going to be alright! Im glad I went though that break up (in a way) because it prepared me for the next one!

            The second time I fell in love was this (the well known) Francesco. But it was a dangerous love! I loved him because of his looks not personality like Spencer! But he was a nice guy the first time around. I kept chasing him until he gave in and we went out for a month and a half until we broke up as a couple! No one was dumped, and then about a month later, we see each other again for the first time, and WAM the feelings were back for the both of us! I was dating this guy Eric (who I didnt really like and we were technically broken up) and I was living with him, I would sneak out of the house meet Francesco down the street and go out and have sex, it was actually our first time doing that since we broke up! It was very immature; I will never do that again. It just got to the point were the feelings were getting out of control and we were committing to each other, acting like boyfriend ad girlfriend when we were calling our selves friends (theres a name for that its called friends with benefits) so we decided just to put a name on it! And WAM again we ere going out, we tell people we were dating for a year and a half! With in a year we moved in together finally! We were happy, we loved it and it was good until things got heated up again and all we did was fight and I thought it ws best ot leave and I did, and it was real emotional day, we hugged and cried, and I missed him terrible and her missed me! We still called each other and were still friends we learned we cant be friends coz when we try we end up going back out every time~ I remember him telling me that there was this guy at work who wasnt married had no girlfriend and was pretty much alone and was like 45, he said he hated me coz he didnt want to be like that. And I told him if we try hard enough we can be together forever! We just have to TRY! Boy was I wrong. We ended up going back out again am month later I moved back in with him! Things were dandy until about 2 weeks later, the fighting took place again, and jealousy erupted, he was always taking about and sticking up for the girls he works with! And it upset me! So it caused a fight! In fact one of those fights broke us up! He got violent! I didnt leave, he had no faith for us and I was carrying it all! And it wasnt fair! It just got too much, he got mad and I would cry! I was in love and he says he was in love, and sometimes I think he was! But I wont know for sure ever! We broke up, I was in love so it hurt again pretty bad, but because of the break up with Spencer, I knew I was going to get over it, even though I did date Francesco longer, the relationship was a lot worst! I did cry, and I was even traumatized but it only lasted a few days! Im better now and things are looking good for me, he helped me find myself!

So there you have it, one minute your in love the next your all alone, love can be very What-You-Dont-know-Cant-Hurt you because a lot of my friends cheat on their lovers, and I never understood how they can be in love?? Its not love , love is commitment, trust, honesty, happiness all in one, if you are not doing any of those at all then you are not ready to be in love Im sorry! No one deserves to get hurt and I mean NOONE. Anyways, I may be only 20 years old, but I have been there twice and done that twice! So Hun, just trust me, why do u think everyone comes to me for love advice, it isnt coz Im bad at it!